Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
