Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Randomize
