he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
