The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This is the high leading the old right now
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
