Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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