Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
