I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
