He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
