I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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