just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
