There is no way he is gay with that hair.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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