Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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