the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
