dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
