I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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