So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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