morning after pill = breakfast in bed
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
