I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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