If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
