I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
