So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
