i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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