I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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