So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
