I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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