I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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