just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
