Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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