honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
