I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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