She announced her abortion via fbk
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
