Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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