some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
