just come out here and I will go home with you...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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