I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
