brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
