i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
