I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Your penis caused this!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
