You just made me feel so damn special
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
