So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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