I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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