The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
