What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
lets start a swedish sibling band together
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
