Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
