At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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