I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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