So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Randomize
