you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
