Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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