It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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