just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
